When you talk to someone in the swinging community, chances are one of the questions you will hear is “Full swap or soft swap?” While that question may sound confusing to rookies, they are simply trying to figure out your boundaries to know you better. It’s not an intentionally coded question.

People new to the lifestyle often just need a little help understanding insider jargon like this.

Much like defining your sexuality to let people know what appeals to you, determining whether or not you are into full swap swinging or soft swinging will help you define to potential playmates what you are looking for before getting in too deep. But, what is the difference, and how do you decide which is best for you?

First things first, let’s define and explain these two terms

A soft swap refers to a swinging encounter that does not include penetrative sex. Oral sex & touching are the primary focus in a soft swap encounter. Soft swapping can be a great way to dip your toes into the swinging waters, and it can be an excellent option for veteran swingers who want a somewhat more casual encounter with fewer things to worry over.

While it’s simple to remember that soft swapping does not include penetrative sex, it can still be different for everyone you talk with. Some things may or may not be allowed- examples include:

• Oral sex, giving, receiving, or both.

• Kissing, caressing, and other playfulness

• Flirting, sexting, and sending pictures and videos

• Penetration with toys if everyone involved is comfortable with it

This list covers the basics, but it will be up to you and your partner to decide what is and is not off-limits for you when it comes down to it. There is no right or wrong answer. There is only what you are comfortable with. While some people may love knowing that their partner is sending a sexy picture, others will want something like that to remain just for them. The same may also be said for swallowing during oral sex.

While soft swapping is often seen as a way to dip your toes in the water and see if the lifestyle is right for you before moving to hard/full swapping, it’s important to make it clear that if you are comfortable with soft swapping and would like to keep doing it- that is valid. Stick to the things you are pleased with and make the lifestyle enjoyable for you.

Full Swapping

Sometimes also called hard swapping. And, just like everything in the community, there are basic definitions, but the nitty-gritty will depend on each individual.